Robs day off round-up
Its sort of like the omibus edition of corination street on Sunday, except more articulate.
Ran out the house to see robs friend rob, who had a hernia - just about where is hand is, (he is on the right). To find to my horror that I had sold my car and forgotten, - (after my illustriuos father had reversed into it and put a large dent in it).
So i got the bus, and was forced to
sit next to an irritating old lady who not only recognised me from work, she felt the need to regailed me with the tail of how the coffee used to cost £1.25 and now its £1.45. Needless to say being that she was 70+ i felt that knocking her out would be cruel and possibly life-threatening for the old witch. I also thought about convincing her that she had missed her stop, but then the council would have to come and pick up the body in a few days after she starved to death, - but it would have been good for the local eco-system.
So I got to southampton, thought for a split second about getting more tattoo done, and banished the thought, when i recalled
1. How much it costs
2. How much it hurts on your stomache
3. How much further it is away than i had any intention upon tackling on foot.
Robs freind Rob, and Robs friend Robs brother Dave, gave me and the other lay-about pikeys in his house a private gig.
Things to avoid
1. going to work in the morning on your day off, to find that the fat useless chef has not turned up for work and not told anyone where he has decided to put his metric ton of body mass today, and they have no housekeeper. - This is your que to run out the door as fast as possible before being guilt tripped into working.
2. Writing letters to Santa that look like this.
3. This guy
He will steal your underwear from room and sell it to a Syrian sock merchant, using said monetary reinbursment to fund his penis extension. No, Really he will.
Bye Bye
Ran out the house to see robs friend rob, who had a hernia - just about where is hand is, (he is on the right). To find to my horror that I had sold my car and forgotten, - (after my illustriuos father had reversed into it and put a large dent in it).
So i got the bus, and was forced to
sit next to an irritating old lady who not only recognised me from work, she felt the need to regailed me with the tail of how the coffee used to cost £1.25 and now its £1.45. Needless to say being that she was 70+ i felt that knocking her out would be cruel and possibly life-threatening for the old witch. I also thought about convincing her that she had missed her stop, but then the council would have to come and pick up the body in a few days after she starved to death, - but it would have been good for the local eco-system.So I got to southampton, thought for a split second about getting more tattoo done, and banished the thought, when i recalled
1. How much it costs
2. How much it hurts on your stomache
3. How much further it is away than i had any intention upon tackling on foot.
Robs freind Rob, and Robs friend Robs brother Dave, gave me and the other lay-about pikeys in his house a private gig.
Things to avoid
1. going to work in the morning on your day off, to find that the fat useless chef has not turned up for work and not told anyone where he has decided to put his metric ton of body mass today, and they have no housekeeper. - This is your que to run out the door as fast as possible before being guilt tripped into working.
2. Writing letters to Santa that look like this.
3. This guy
He will steal your underwear from room and sell it to a Syrian sock merchant, using said monetary reinbursment to fund his penis extension. No, Really he will.
Bye Bye
posted by Roberto at 5:45 AM
3 Comments:
Nice entry! Loved all the photos, as well as the scathing description of the metric ton of body mass known to many as Fatboy Fat. Well, I just made that up but it's fitting, no? Just like the chef whites he repeatedly tore while bending over. Oh yeah, and you'd better make sure Josh never reads your blog: telling the entire internet that he's had a penis enlargement isn't really great for Rob-Josh relations. But I guess he did steal your pants and watch porn in them, so perhaps it's justified...
luv you sexypants xxxxxxxxxx
Is that Josh in the last picture? He looks like he's been sleeping rough in Bagdahd!
Great blog, better now I can post to it.
Oh, and that was the other rob, rob.
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